stereotype me.

my last 10 Google searches (beginning with most recent):
1. peter bjorn and john lyrics
2. names and meanings
3. phoenix shuttle
4. az lost boys
5. changing hands bookstore phoenix
6. sekai sushi phoenix
7. camelback mountain hiking trails
8. vaccinations for travel to africa
9. arkansas police arrest track star
10. symptoms of dehydration

i'll take a ryder truck. or budget rental. or anything else.

The following is an email from the teacher of my independent study anatomy lab over the break.

The plans for next week for the cadaver dissection is this:

Friday 12/15:
Bodies arrive from Tucson via U Haul. I will need help unloading and putting them up in the lab. The ETA is around 2pm or could be a bit earlier. If you are going to be on or near campus and could help with this task, please email me back with your phone number and I will call you at that number about 20 minutes or so before I arrive back on campus.

I will also need someone to pick me up from the U-Haul return place (I will try to find one near campus) and give me a ride back to campus to pick up my car after the bodies are off loaded and the truck is cleaned up (last year I had to take it to a car wash and scrub out the back end).
Those people helping unload will be able to take a look at the specimens and we can make some decisions on who will work on what bodies.

Monday through Friday: December 18-22
We will plan to start dissecting around 9 each morning. We will NOT be able to continue our dissecting during the time the building is closed for break December 22- Jan 2. All work must be completed by Friday Dec. 22!!

I am looking forward to an exciting week. Last year we discovered some incredible pathology in some of the bodies and I anticipate we will uncover some more things this time!!Let me know if you can help on Friday, if NOT, I will see you on Monday at 9am. Just wear junky clothes and old shoes. You may get pretty messy!

losing it.

today while surfing "the internets" Bush style to check my level of funds, i accidentally typed www.gankofamerica.com. then i laughed. out loud. by myself.

"hahaha gank of america. shit. ha. haha....ha. oh god. "

it has started.

come in from class, lug body upstairs, drop backpack on the floor, flop on couch, set alarm for dinnertime...

i'm sitting in class when all of a sudden my permanent mandibular left second premolar falls out. just falls out. remembering what dr. spencer told us, i place it carefully under my tongue, then back in place. but everytime i close my mouth it falls back out. i quietly make my way to the front of the room to tell the teacher i need to go over to the clinic immediately to get this tooth taken care of. he says i can't miss class. argument ensues. i finally, weighing costs vs. benefits, decide to skip class and head decidedly clinic-ward. i get there, and the tooth has gotten so large it will no longer fit in my mouth and allow me to talk, but if i take it out to tell the D4 student doctor my ailment, it will dry out and become irreparable. they put me in the waiting room with the rest of the normal patients because i can't tell them how pressing my problem is. i grow increasingly more frustrated and tears start rolling down my cheeks.

...wake up, run tongue over lingual side of bottom teeth (check! all there), get up, make cous cous and black beans, open computer to study for test tomorrow...

message sent.

i've yet to venture into the land of professionalism. i have, however taken out a $75,000 dollar loan to cover my first year abroad. i'm seriously contemplating the black market for the next 3 years. who needs both kidneys?
i'm listening to "seas too far to reach" by okkervil river at this very moment.
i'm wondering which one of two andy warhol's i want to frame for my small apartment living room.
and how you are. i'm always wondering how you are.
want to tell me? want to tell me everything?
my parents might be moving to edmond if rick gets the job he applied for.
oklahoma has it's way of holding onto me.
as do you.
update me,
terra

last night i dreamed that somebody loved me

i had 3 dreams that i remember my entire last year of college. now i've been home two and half weeks. i've had a dream every night, i remember every detail, and each one has starred someone who was/is an integral part of my life.

sarah and i were standing by the locker i had my senior year in high school. miles was behind me, as usual, giving me the craft that he had made using my inspiration in the previous class period. i was thanking sarah profusely for the ikea gift card she had given me. i hugged her as i gushed about the different ways i could use it. then she told me "don't sweat it, i'm a great gift giver" and asked me to lunch. only we had brought lunches. so we sat on the hill and ate pb&j's while kody wilson sat a few feet behind inconspicuously, and sketched a picture of sarah and i. during this candid lunchtime conversation, i watched about 30 of my high school classmates file down the hill toward their cars. i remember being thankful that i didn't have to participate in the race for fast food that day. then i woke up.

i was trying to decide which branch of the armed forces i would rather serve. an albino man in a WW2 nazi uniform kept telling me the swiss army was the way to go. i scoffed at him and made a snide remark about the swiss not needing an army. -scene 2- brynna and i were in a hotel in las vegas, only our hotel room was an exact replica of the dorm room we shared our freshman year. i came back from using the bathroom (down the hall) and brynna informed me a swiss army man had been looking for me, and that he had been 'meddling' with my contact case and carrying a gun. i put on my glasses as a precautionary measure and began quickly packing my things. i remember being so angry that brynna was taking the time to meticulously fold all of her clothes before packing. how could she be so calm when clearly my life was in danger? i ran to the nearest hospital which had an underground passage. i explained the situation and they offered to hide me there. before i crawled in the hole, my grandmother handed me a 'goody bag' to keep me going. when i got to the chamber underground i opened the bag and found raisinets, skittles, and goobers. i hate goobers. then i woke up.

the story.

i thought of a lot of things i wanted to write about during my 16 hour drive. maybe i'll retro-post later.

sarah, i'm a terrible friend. i'm disoriented and disconnected. so for you, and posterity, here is the story...

i got to the school at 7:30, introduced myself and chatted cordially with the guy at the front desk (which proved to be a good move because he was the student who sat in on my interview). we went upstairs, heard a short talk from the dean, and then were presented with a dexterity test. on the first trial, i beat the other 7 interviewees by about 5 points, and immediately felt relaxed and confident. the doctor that was running the test, dr. creech, made a smart alec remark about everyone waiting on me to clear my board for the next trial...and i knew i could joke with him from then on. so, i did.
after the dexterity test, we did a group survival exercise. i tried my best to play the role of middle man/mediator, and was met with approving nods from dr. creech each time i threw out an idea.
then, came the interview. my panel consisted of dr. creech, the guy from the front desk, and bad cop dr. zais who had been a major asshole the entire day (everyone was muttering under the breath that they hoped he wasn't an interviewer). i was asked the standard questions about why i chose the profession and school, a couple of ethical questions, and then 6 "general knowledge" questions:
-name the bones of the upper and lower jaw
-how many teeth are in a standard adult human jaw?
-who were the last two supreme court justice appointees?
-in what country was the first image of muhammed printed?
-how many dental schools are there in the us?
-what are the three branches of government?
i answered the first 5 quickly and correctly (i guessed on the muhammed question and accidentally guessed a country that bordered the answer,denmark, and they gave me credit), then blurted out "executive, judicial..." and went blank on the third branch of government. "i know this," i sputtered, "it contains congress, i know what they do, i'm just drawing a blank here. this is 8th grade government material..." and dr. zais coldly responded, "yes, it IS 8th grade material." i laughed it off and we moved on.
the last question was one about whether healthcare should be a privilege or a right, and what we can do as individuals-not just health professionals-to change the problem. i blabbed about how large scale change happens at the group level and argued from a political standpoint.
dr. creech, "wow, i've never heard anyone get political with it."
dr. zais, "well, that's the perfect answer. it IS political...(winks at me)."
i asked a few questions of my own, we chatted about amarillo and the big texan, and it was over.
after everyone had their interview we were told that if we were a no, we would receive a letter in 2 weeks, and otherwise, no news was good news. the admissions counselor said that they had already filled 42 of the 54 slots and had offers still pending. things didn't look good. we took a group tour of the school and the clinic. we were about 20 minutes into the tour when dr. zais came in and said, "terra, after the tour i need you to come back over to student services. we need some information from you." i guess i looked worried because he added, "it's nothing bad."
when the tour was over, i jogged back across the street to the school and went up to the student services office, where i found 5 D2 students and the whole admissions board having lunch. dr. zais tossed me a chocolate chip cookie and said, "terra, i don't like many people...and i don't rave about any. but i raved about you. so we're offering you an acceptance. unless you have a flight to catch, we'd like you to wait a few minutes while we put your packet together. we didn't want you to have to wait for it in the mail."

so, that's the story. then dr. zais cornered my mom and told her he was 'very impressed with how i conducted myself and how she raised me'. so i'm going. and i'm nervous. and i wish the boy i'm dating hadn't made me feel childish about being nervous.

i've got poison oak again.

I've sort of accidentally begun purging my life of certain types of people.
It began with one incident from which I made a stiff decision to separate myself. Then, upon finding it felt damn good to feel more control over my life, I began deleting relationships with others that I felt put my self worth in jeopardy. I lumped together people with generally negative dispositions, those whose emotional baggage takes up too much of my storage space, and some who are just discouraging overall.
It's pretty easy once you get started. Usually those types of people don't try too hard to communicate after a couple of attempts are ignored. I know this is a ridiculous way to handle problems and eventually I'm going to have to grow up and learn to deal with these situations, but for now I'm basking in the comfort of my closest friends. And enjoying the encouragement, fun, and (endearingly) terrible analogies that come from them.

Thank you. Now please boycott DiGiornio and opt for a salad. It's better for you anyway.